He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
