I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
