i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
