I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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