I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
