They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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