If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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