i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
