in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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