my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
