He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
