do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize