If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
