and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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