Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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