Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
