is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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