At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
