Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
