Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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