the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
