i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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