the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
