make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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