Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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