i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
