I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
