Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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