Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
