Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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