Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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