You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
love makes seman taste better
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize