What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
