y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
