dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
