did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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