Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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