I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
