dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
