By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
