This is not my ceiling
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
