I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize