I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Small penises have feelings too.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
