I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
