I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
