The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
