I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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