I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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