In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
