She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
