we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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