So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
