Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
