I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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