My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
