guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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