Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
