She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
