Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize