Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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