what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
