How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
