we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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