at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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