I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize