Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
