Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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