Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she smelled like a LAN party
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
